I’m going to assume that this post title isn’t suggesting I run amok with an Uzi, but rather utilise some bullet points describing my day.
Let’s do an average Monday, shall we?
- 7am – I get rudely awakened by the boy, demanding immediately application of cheerios to bowl
- 7.20 – ask the boy to take his PJ’s off and put his uniform on
- 7.30 – see above
- 7.40 – see above
- 7.45 – forcibly remove boy from pajama’s and insert into school uniform
- 7.46 – ask boy where he left his shoes
- 7.48 – find one shoe behind downstairs toilet
- 7.56 – find other shoe atop wardrobe
- 7.59 – wrestle boy into coat, onto scooter and out door to get lift to school
- 8.00 – run back into house to get book bag
- 8.01 – run back into house to get hat as is cold. See handbag, get that too
- 8.30 – wave boy into class & head to gym with lift-friend
- 9-9.45 – alternate frantic cycling trying to keep up with fit spin-mad lift-friend with pathetic gasping and skiving whenever instructor not looking
- 10 – get home and crawl upstairs and have small cry in shower over pain in arse from spin class
- 10.15 – 11 sit on edge of sofa feeling worried and sick and looking out window for driving instructor
- 11-12.00 – have driving lesson with long suffering instructor. Cry at roundabouts and almost crash car attempting reverse park. Again.
- 12.00-2.30 put on MTV clean house look at internet & blog if the mood takes me (rare)
- 2.30 – get lift back to school
- 3.30 – 5.30 Attempt to entertain the unentertainable child. Play approximately 345654 games of snakes and ladders.
- 5.45 – Attempt to force feed child healthy dinner.
- 6.00 – Give in and let child eat grapes, fruit twisters and crisps
- 6.35 – Child dances into room clutching buttocks. Insists needs me to wipe arse, despite said arse having been wiped successfully by it’s owner for the past year. Oblige.
- 6.36 – Daddy walks in the door, immediately relegating Mummy to sub-human status, despite clear arse-wiping prowess
- 6.48 – Daddy shouts at child for pestering him claiming to have been at work all day. Mummy shoots looks that could kill at Daddy.
- 7.30 – Daddy takes child to bed. Mummy opens bottle of wine.
- 7.35 – Mummy summoned to bring drink for child.
- 7.45 – Mummy sits down
- 7.48 – Mummy summoned to brush teeth
- 7.50 – Mummy sits down, picks up glass
- 7.51 – Mummy summoned to locate pajamas. Which are in the drawer. WHERE THEY LIVE.
- 8.00 – Start cooking dinner
- 8.30 – Daddy returns, dinner is consumed
- 9-10.30 – Watch shit telly and look at phone. Occasionally grunt at each other. Drink another glass of wine
- 10.30 – Drag aching legs to bed, pass out.
How do your Monday’s go?
Mine is much like that except without the gym and with more small children. Seriously, do you not get a medal for going to the gym on a Monday morning?
I totes should get a medal.
The gym? Surely the school run in exercise enough?! Not to mention all the running upstairs in the evening because men can’t look for things (they should do a genetic study on this, they really should). #chucklemums
I know! Surely he knows by now? I think he just doesn’t want me to sit down. A bit like his son!!! 🙂 xx
Similar. Very similar. Except no gym or wine. But I do smoke. #chucklemums
I miss fags!!! Xx
Ha ha you’re a legend! Love this – you’ve got the patience of a saint! xx #chucklemums
I left out the shouting 😀 xx
I was on my learner’s permit for 7 years; you can do it!!! Still cannot parallel park for love or money though. Sounds quite similar to my day, although woken unnaturally at 5.30 by child, no gym and loads more wine. #chucklemums
Haha I like bullet point Monday. Great way to sum up the day. Spin class and a wine, my kind of day although the wine to spin ration should definitely be in favour of wine! #chucklemums xx
He he that is very familiar. Though I never step foot inside a gym – good for you! Thanks for linking with #BestAndWorst xx
I haven’t been for about a month if it makes you feel any better
Ha ha – mine is not that that different! I don’t know why it is impossible for the male species to find things which are a) either directly in front of them or b) where they always are! I am impressed with he gym though and I hope the driving lessons get better for you. Thank you for joining us at #BloggerClubUK hope to see you again this week.
Thanks lovely. Driving going much better, gave myself a stern talking to!!
The chance of waking up at 7am would be a fine thing! I doubt I could bullet point my day as I’m on autopilot for approx. 97% of it. The 3% is disaster leverage e.g. the youngest cleaning the TV with her toothpaste loaded toothbrush. Or the boy having a nosebleed over the new chair we’ve managed to keep stain free for 5 months now. It was good while it lasted. Hope your driving lessons are going well. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself!
I’m still having them – 5 failed tests and counting!!!