What do Mum’s of newborns really need? The baby product industry is booming. There’s everything available, from silver topped dummies to little tubes that suck bogies out of your offspring’s dinky nostrils*. But what do you really need when you have a newborn?
Friends in the same boat
You might be really lucky, and have a couple of pals get themselves knocked up around the same time, or, if you’re anything like me, you’ll be the only person in your entire social circle to be up the duff.
I cannot begin to stress how important it is to find yourself some other fat angry women. You need compadres. No one else remembers what it is like to have a newborn – YOU won’t remember in a few months, it’s natures way of tricking you into having siblings. You’ll also forget just how painful labour is. Nature’s a bitch.
There’s nothing more supportive than knowing other people are going through the same things, with the same stresses. No-one goes to NCT or birthing classes with the intention of “learning how to breathe” or practising bizarre birthing positions. All that goes straight out the window like a demented budgie the second contractions start anyway. No, those people are there for the friends. Those other slightly wild-eyed women who are starting to realise what they are in for. If you can’t physically get to classes, find an online birth month club. You won’t regret it (and remember NCT classes are means tested – if you are skint, they won’t cost as much, or they may even be free!)
Cake
You will need cake. Cake is your friend. Forget all those finicky, organic super-healthy preparation needed snacks, and get some cake down your neck. It might be a false economy trying to keep your poor abused body awake with sugar but damn it will taste GOOD and make you feel better when your baby has decided night time is wakey-wakey time and naps are for losers.
Sleep
This is a hard one. But get as much as you can, whenever you can. All those guests in the early days? They don’t want to see you. They want to coo over the gorgeous little bundle you’ve created. GO TO BED. Now! I guarantee your baby will zonk out for hours when visitors are there, and those visitors will be more than happy to stare rapturously at your little sleeping miracle with the teeny weeny toes and the ickle wickle fingernails and the button nose for hours on end. You get some kip and leave them to it.
Muslin squares
Minimum of 20. Just do it. You can thank me later.
Compliments
You are amazing. Your body is amazing. Look at what you have made, you clever girl. Nothing else matters, not how the birth went, not how you look. You’ve done the toughest thing in the world, and now you are living the toughest period. There’s nothing else that compares to birth and the early days of parenting. You’re incredible. Anyone who suggests anything otherwise needs to be ejected from your presence immediately, kick to the bottom optional.
You rock!
*Don’t get a bogey sucker. They’re gross and I could never get mine to work, because who wants to risk inhaling a bogey?!
I love it Zilla! Always have to have cake! oh and mini cheddars and muslin squares! xx
I could eat mini cheddars all day. With cake as snack.
Agree with all of it and definitely think bogey suckers are a waist of time! Friends on the same boat and cake are definitely the most important to me. Second time around i didn’t have friends close by and it felt really lonely at times.
I don’t think people realise how crucial support is – it’s such a bizarre time in your life! xx
Friends with cake is always a winner for me xxx
Not a lot better really is there?
Ha ha just brilliant! Love it! Never heard of bogey suckers – please don’t explain – I’m OK not knowing! Muslins squares – oh hell yeah! And cake – sugar and calories all the way! Fab post and fab pictures!
Thanks lovely
Ha, ha! Fab post and totally true on all accounts. Cake, yes please! Sleep, most definitely. Mummy friends, totally essential. Muslins, if you dont have them on day one you’ll definitely have sent the other half out by day two. Compliments, a lady can never get enough..and I totally agree with you on the nose things. We had one and it never worked properly and was completely gross. Avoid! Lol. #bestandworst. Emily
Yes I need to do a follow up of crap-not-to-buy!! xx
YES. I am in the same boat, no friends with babies in my group. Luckily I made some friends through baby classes/birthing classes what not, you definitely need other fat angry friends to support you, I think that’s the most important or else you feel alone and lost.
Indeed! It’s such a tough time!
Food, food and more food. In the first few weeks after Effy was born both me and my OH really struggled to eat properly. When people turned up with food, they were instantly bumped up our friends list.
I always give food as part of the new-baby presents now! Especially cake.
Love this, especially the compliments! I wrote a post about this and I basically think you shouldn’t be allowed to visit unless you bring food!!
Haha! I always bring food now!
I love this post!!! Nodding along to every single thing! Cake is ALWAYS needed!!!!! xx #stayclassy
Cake, sleep, cake.
Yep. Pretty much agree with all of this!!! Sleep being the VERY TOP OF THE LIST!! #stayclassy
Always, always sleep…
Yes to everything… I moved to a new city when I was pregnant so didn’t know many people. The NCT was a lifesaver! And cake, always cake. Brilliant post x #stayclassy
Thanks love. My NCT were a lifesaver too!
Love this. Bang on with the muslins and supply of cake! #stayclassy x
So. Many. Muslins. xx
Back from #StayClassy, you know what, the cake saved my life as well. And oreos.
Love this post and all the lovely pictures! I’m doing this again myself in a other 4-5months. What am I DOING?? Send me cake and sleep. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x
Ahhh yes so true…particularly the friends, cake and sleep part. Oh and the bogey sucker thing…yuck…but then sleep is good so it depends how much you want to sleep I suppose! #stayclassy
That cake looks amazing! I agree finding friends is really important for your sanity it’s just tricky to do especially as you say if none of your friends are pregnant at the same time! #stayclassy
I vaguely remember it being much needed – the boy was NOT a good sleeper! 😀
Friends are definitely a must and cake! Sleep feels like it never comes.
It does…….eventually……!
agree though noone tells you that you’ll need sleep for a long time and that cake is the bastard that prevents you losing baby weight! compliments are a def win though. thanks for linking to #stayclassy #triballove
I still haven’t caught up on my sleep! 5 years on!! 😀
This is a GREAT list. Mother says that being pregnant/after my birth was the one time in her life when she felt able to enjoy guilt-free cake. You’re so right about compliments. Those people who would tell Mother she looked great or how well she was doing didn’t realise how much they were doing for her confidence when she was vulnerable and anxious. Also, I arrived eight days late and Mother spent the whole time sleeping prior to my birth which seemed wasteful at the time but now she’s so glad she did x #fortheloveofBLOG
Thanks Baby A! This has given me an idea for my next post – what to do when you’re overdue! 😀 Or Maternity Leave Ideas! xx
Sleep and cake!! I definitely had my fair share of cake, I’m still catching up on the sleep mind!
Great post!
#fortheloveofBLOG
I’m not sure we can ever catch up on the sleep! 🙂
This is lovely! I think the next time around I will be so much more at ease with a baby than I was with my daughter. My parents will be just around the corner, as will one of my sisters, as will my partners mum and sister, so they can come and take baby as much as they like so I can just sleep, eat cake and compliment myself 😀 But seriously though I think its so important to find a support network and I plan to be going to all the classes I can pre and post pregnancy with a new baby. Not looking forward to the school run with a pushchair though, it takes too long! Partner works nights…could leave baby behind in morning? I’m not even pregnant and thinking all these things haha! #fortheloveofblog
I always think that as well, but don’t think we will have another now. Age gap would be 6 years, and to go back to the baby days…!
Haha – so accurate! Especially cake! & muslins. & cake! Bogey suckers ARE gross – didn’t even contemplate it! Nothing was going in my mouth but…cake! Thanks so much for linking with #PasstheSauce
I love this Sarah, what a lovely sentiment at the end to remind us that we are all amazing, we have done the hardest thing by having a baby, and then having to deal with the difficult (dark) days with a newborn. Sleep is a definite must, although during the daytime part of me felt that I couldn’t sleep as I had to keep an eye on the newborn. Chocolate and cake were and still are the only two foods that get me through the day, although I’m trying to be good at the moment and not eat those before holiday. Thanks so much for linking up another post at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x
Thanks love 🙂 xx
cannot begin to stress how important it is to find yourself some other fat angry women!! I loved it!! Lightened the night feed up! X
Cake and sleep! There is nothing else to say really hehe!! 🙂
I think muslin squares were probably one of the defining items of Eban’s early life. Never be caught without one! And who doesn’t need cake?
Thank you for this. As a soon-to-be Dad, I am not only preparing for the birth of my son but also to become, willingly, the third most important person in our house. It’s good to know beforehand what my fiancée will need when she says, “I’m fine…”